Procrastination Destination: Alternative Hallmark Movies

staff
6 days ago
1 min read

Updated: 3 days ago

At our most recent event, Wesleying staff had some delicious beverages and came up with this article collectively. All spelling errors preserved for historical accuracy.

My Big Fat 9/11 Christmas

*Our film has nothing to do with this beloved romcom*

she’s a space nerd, can;t find wifey, he got brain injury in the crash. They fall in love. You can’t even imagine what they got eachother for christmas (nothing to do with marriage or greek people, but there might have been some greek people, none talks about the greek-american experience after 9/11)

Jolly Towers

They hit the christmas tree!!! – if you need an explanation u suck.

A 9/11 Christmas

spirit of christmas past (first tower) falls in love with spirt of christmas present (second tower)

The Last Christmas

she’s sitting next to him on the 2nd plane

9/12

wakes up from coma (caused by 9/11), in hospital falls inlove her man-nurse (but its christmas)

Christmas Crash

plane crashes into sexy farmers farm and she sees him

Santagon

santa’s sleigh crashes into the pentagon (he’s bisexual)

Deck the Towers

one brave man’s attempt to wrap both towers in christmas lights. But then… 9/11. The mayor is the girl love interest (mayoress [mayor but girl]) – judy guilianni, if you will.

Star on the Christmas Bush